Happy Endings or Happy Beginnings: What would you choose?
The struggle to achieve happy endings often makes you overlook the most important thing in life - the present.
He moved closer towards his partner. The struggle was over. They had sorted out their problems and never felt as connected as before. He could see her eyes lighting up against the flicker of the candle. The night was dark and the breeze lifted his spirits. He reached into his pocket to draw out a small box. As he opened it, she gasped. He took her palm gently into his hand and offered the ring with the other. He asked with hesitation, “Will you marry me?” She responded with excitement and hugged him tightly. The music turned louder and the credits began to play. The audience cheered the couple on the screen and left the movie hall. “What a brilliant movie. Such a happy ending!” said one. The other replied, “Oh! How I love happy endings!”
Our culture has molded us to ruminate over ‘Happy Endings.’ After all, everyone wants happiness in life and struggles are a part of the journey. We are fixated on ensuring the result is perfect and tailor-made to the term - ‘Happy Endings.’ What goes on in the process and how does it affect our minds?
The Process of Happy Endings
Ever felt yourself drooling over a wonderfully designed cake? It takes only a couple of minutes to devour a piece of the sumptuous cake. What we often miss is the hours of practice and turmoil that goes in creating a magnificent delicacy such as this.
Life is quite like that. We wait for years endlessly for the perfect moment to feel happy. It’s like gulping a cup of bitter coffee and grudgingly drinking it till you find the undissolved sugar right at the bottom. Now, if only you had remembered to stir it gently by being mindful about the process. You would have been able to enjoy it to the fullest!
Why Life is about the Imperfect Moments
What is holding you back from enjoying your life right now? Does the fixation for a happy ending that seems elusive (in the present moment) affect your day?
The pursuit of Happy Endings creates an imbalance in lives. Here’s a look.
1. Waiting for the ‘Until’ moment
There are some groups of people who wait all their lives. Their thoughts play as follows.
I will not feel happy until I -
- Get married
- Have a baby
- Be a CEO
- Run a successful business
- Travel the world
- Be a good parent
- Find a partner
- Become single
And, the list goes on…
The concept of waiting until the situation is ideal is often cloaked with what the culture may have taught or caregivers may have raised you to believe. You have the choice to be happy, content, and peaceful right from the day you are born. Worrying about a happy ending that will occur later creates a space and a belief which is -
The Present is a Struggle. (Because your happy ending has not yet come.)
What we miss to understand is that struggle and happiness both need to exist and you cannot keep pursuing the latter while bringing in misery in the present.
2. Waiting for ‘Perfection’
The state of perfection is a flawless one. A perfect condition means everything is great! Perfection drives people to go beyond themselves and can cause great stress if left unchecked. When it comes to ‘Happy Endings’, perfection plays an important role. (Ever mulled over wanting a perfect day or a perfect time?) An individual often feels he/she needs to wait for the perfect moment for the ‘happy ending’ created in a fantasy world.
So, you wait for the perfect moment by -
- Giving excuses to postpone your happiness
- Waiting endlessly to achieve your dreams
- Being ignorant of what you have today with a focus on a perfect ending
It’s good to have a vision of the future best self. However, being lost in a maze and waiting for a ‘happy ending’ is an indication you need to reprogram your mind.
Forget Happy Endings, Let’s Work on New Beginnings
If you are constantly worrying about the future and a ‘happy ending’ that is yet to unfold, you miss the power of now. Learn how to find happiness in small things.
Healthy Habits to Stop Worrying, Start Living
1. Practice Gratitude
This is a powerful practice to inculcate in your daily routine. Psychologists have already proven how gratitude is connected with greater wellness and deeper fulfillment. You feel positive emotions as you feel grateful for everything around you. You can even feel gratitude for the past (thankful for your childhood moments) as well as the future (display hope and optimism). Gratitude improves your relationship with self while building better connections around you.
Tip: Write down the 3 things you are grateful for at the end of the day.
2. Build upon the Power of Now
Your happiness lies in the present. You can certainly build a foundation for the future but not without acknowledging the power of now. Your happiness can begin now. Work on adding things in your life that lend greater peace and contentment. You can -
- Explore a new hobby
- Reconnect with old friends, acquaintances
- Learn a new skill
- Do one thing to overcome one fear
- Enroll your time for charity
- Volunteer towards a cause that is close to your heart
Tip: Be someone who makes ‘you’ happy. You’ll soon radiate happiness glow in your daily life and your ‘happy beginnings’ will begin right at this moment.
3. Learn to Let Go
The habit of letting go is purposeful in every way. Holding on to something that does not serve you in a positive light will only weigh you down. Letting go creates space for something new to blossom. Letting go shows your strength and conviction in self with a belief and trust in the process. By releasing thoughts that surround ‘happy endings’, we create space for new beginnings. You let go of what is not in your control (the future) by focusing on the present.
Tip: Write down one habit that does not serve you and let it go.
4. Use the Power of Affirmations
Powerful affirmations are the process to confirm something. If you use an affirmation that goes, “I’m loved and I attract love” you confirm the presence of this thought in your life. Your self-talk works towards manifesting everything you think about. Every time you feel love, you receive love. Affirmations are powerful internal dialogues you build to develop winning outcomes in life. Affirmations work when you open to doors to reprogram your subconscious mind. Isn’t it exciting how you can create new results in life right now using affirmations?
Tip: Write down 5 things you want in life. Affirm it, and also work towards manifesting it with a sound strategy and faith.
Your Happy Beginnings Start Now
So, where is the beginning? It’s here, right now. At this moment. It’s about how you perceive your world. Your strengths that you use to build your goals. This constant state of peace to take you towards happiness. It’s about disallowing internal conflicts.
How to Focus on the Good
Ask yourself -
- What has worked for you?
- What are your strengths?
- What would you like to have in life?
- What can you do to improve yourself?
Every time you worry about the past and future, you are not being mindful in life. When mindfulness is practiced daily, you learn to expand your awareness towards positive thinking. Listen to meditation sessions to begin your mindfulness practice, now. You can also join the Mindfulness Practitioner program with Life Leadership Coach, Dr. Paras.
Cheers to new beginnings!! What are you doing today to get closer to your goals? Write to us in the comments below.